If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
