if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize