Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
