who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
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