Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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