I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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