How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
