Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
third nipple confirmed
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
