You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
