She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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