oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
