So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
