i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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