I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
