if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Are my feet made of real feet?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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