Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
