So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
