We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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