Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Hippo gnu deer
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
