K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Please don't give away my fajitas
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