he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
