Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
