I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
