I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
