my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
