i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
