Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
