You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
