Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
