I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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