My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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