My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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