Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
