you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
