We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize