Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
