Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I love having hate sex.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
