96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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