My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
