our cab driver is having phone sex.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
