i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
