You're completely useless in the revolution.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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