It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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