Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
