Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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