This gyro tastes like lonliness
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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