I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
