I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
