Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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