its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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