You can't motorboat a personality
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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