okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
