Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
