I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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