Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
