i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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