I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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