So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
