new low.... made out with someone while peeing
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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