sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
