In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
